For my Kama’ainas

You Know You’re From Hawaii if…

1. You buy large quantities of toilet paper in case there’s a longshoreman strike…
2. You don’t understand why anyone would buy less than a 20lb bag of rice…
3. You would serve spam as a meat for dinner…
4. You can taste the difference between teriyaki and kal-bi  
5. You know what lei day is…
6. You know what is the “stink eye”; and how to give it…
7. You can correctly pronouce Kalanianaole, Kalakaua, Likelike (Leek-ay Leek-ay) and Aiea (EYE-ay-Yuh)
8. You know what a “huli huli chicken” is…
9. You have someone in your family named “Boy”, “Tita”, “Bruddah”, “Sonny” or “Honey Girl”
10. You know the difference between being hapa and being hapai
11. You give directions using mauka and makai…
12. You know what it takes to get into Kamehameha school… (Hint: You can’t be white)
13. Someone says the word “UKU” and your head starts itching. eeww…
14. You raise your chin to say “wassup” instead of nodding. (like one haole)…
15. When making “Shaka” the back of your hand is facing out.
16. You say, “Nori” not seaweed paper…
17. You say “Brah” not “Bro”…
18. You despise the movie “North Shore”…
19. You know why Sharks Cove is called Sharks Cove…
20. Your jokes are ‘bout Portugese not Polish…
21. You know what is “Morgan’s Corner”. (And it still scares you!)
22. When it’s 70 degrees and it’s freezing to you.
23. You got lickins’ with “da rubbah slippah”… 
24. You know that “Kukui nut” is not some mental person…
25. You call it “saimin” not “ramen”…
26. “Dressing up” means shorts and a aloha shirt.
27. You know pineapples don’t grow in trees.
28. When you hear the word fundraiser, you know it means Zippy’s Chili
29. Your mouth waters when you hear the words li-hing mui
30. You know to NEVER turn your back to the ocean
31. You spent half your life barefoot
32. You never understood why adding pineapples and ham to a pizza makes it “Hawaiian”
33. You know how to cook rice by measuring the water with the knuckle of your index finger
34. Your cousin is Japanese-Chinese-Filipino-Hawaiian-Portuguese-French-Korean-Scottish
35. You know that “you like beef?” has nothing to do with what’s for dinner

 

 
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