Foul-mouthed Attorney

I’ve had it with stupid people.

Last night was the creme de la creme of idiocy, and yes, I used profanity when speaking with a customer on the phone. Of course, I was only repeating his own words… just to be certain that I understood his adjectives correctly.

We were busy.

And when I say busy, we were really busy. Everything was going pretty smoothly, though, and the kitchen was communicating well. Whitey and I were side by side on the make line, with Chuck Norris on ovens and WonderBread doing deliveries and stocking the line as needed.

I noticed our Front Gal on the phone looking at me with her panic-stricken doe eyes, and heard her say (as per our policy when anyone is upset or disappointed in anything), “What can I do to make it better?”

I was tossing a pie, and motioned to her that I would talk to the person for her. Too late, she dropped her mouth open and pulled the phone away from her ear, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Would you like to talk to my manager?” she said into the mouthpiece while looking at me, visibly upset.

I dropped the dough onto a paddle and walked towards the front, taking the phone from her.

“Hello,” I said, “It seems there’s a problem. Give me a moment to understand what’s going on.”

I put the phone down towards my leg, covering the mouthpiece.

“He’s cussing me out about getting a wrong pizza,” Front Gal said. “He just won’t stop cursing… he asked me if I was the one who took his order and to repeat what it was without looking it up. It was a long time ago! We’ve had so many orders since then, and he just keeps yelling and cursing at me.”

My momma-bear hackles went up.

I took the phone and introduced myself, then asked again what we could do to make it better. I offered to re-make his pizza and personally deliver it, to which he still was agitated about.

Three-quarters with Canadian bacon and pineapple, 1/4 without pineapple add olives or something like that. It didn’t matter at this point. He wouldn’t stop freaking out on the phone, and kept telling me what F-ups we were.

I lost it.

“So, you’re thinking it’s a good idea to call and cuss out a teenage girl? That’s going to fix things?” I demanded. “To tell her what a F-up she is? When she goes home and cries herself to sleep and her dad asks her what’s wrong, should she give him YOUR name?”

This guy, I’ll tell ya, he’s a piece of work.

He’s also a local attorney.

He was quiet on the phone for a moment, then said “I’m just tense. I just, I’ll, I…. I’m going to hang up now.”

I immediately noted the phone number on our Caller ID, looked up his order (which, by the way, was made exactly per his instructions), and checked his history in our computer. Aha! It wasn’t the first time we’ve had issues with him. Maybe someone needs some anger management classes?

I drafted a letter, which will be sent via Certified Mail on Monday morning:


If he had handled himself in a decent manner, he’d be overwhelmed with our generosity in handling his disappointment. Instead, this grown man is officially the first person to be 86’d from our restaurant.

When I showed Front Gal this letter, she hugged me and thanked me for standing up for her.

Hey, it’s one thing to be upset, it’s another to cuss out another human being. If we had punched him in the face or slept with his spouse, now THAT’S a reason to freak out.

But olives? Really?

Get a grip.

This entry was posted in All About Us, baker city, Our Pizzeria, scary, Teamwork. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Foul-mouthed Attorney

  1. Dave Goodman says:

    Good for you!

  2. Sherri says:

    I second what Dave said…good for you.

    I like that you’re sending it certified, so he can’t claim he didn’t get it. I would spend the $$ on return receipt and that way if he claims he didn’t get it, you can show him he/his secretary signed it.

    You have been more than generous with him trying to get it right a first and second time and this is a professional, high road to take steps to assure he does not escalate further with the verbal abuse.

  3. Yeah for you!!! And yeah for exactly what your employee said – standing up for your employees and doing what is right..

    Too bad you can’t print that letter in the local paper, or tape it to your front door!!

    Needless to say, his attitude will definitely cost him quite a lot! Respect being one..

  4. Sheela Junk says:

    Kina, I am so glad you posted a letter like this. The customer isn’t always right! I have 86 many patrons for the same reasons. Trying to get something for free.

  5. monkeyinabox says:

    Nice work Kina. I think this is a great way of showing people to think a little before they speak. Is a slightly messed up pizza order really going to destroy your life? I don’t think so, and based on your track record of going over and beyond the call of duty on making things right, this jackass no longer deserves to enjoy your yummy pizza.

  6. PizzaGirl says:

    I wish that I had a manager like you. I once had to call the cops on a domestic violence incident while out delivering and was visibly shaken up by it, and the only thing my manager cared about was whether or not we would lose a customer.

    Good for you for standing up for your employees!

  7. JB says:


    He obviously messed with the wrong person. A good lawyer is hard to find in Oregon. Sounds like you have one, so keep them close.

    Or better yet, if you just naturally knew your rights to deny service to specific people, please go to law school in your spare time — I’ll hire you immediately!

    Thank you for setting such a great example!

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